


to press rewind for the thousandth time

by CyrusBreeze



Series: heirloom [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Gen, Implied Mpreg, Letters, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Trans Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27832525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/pseuds/CyrusBreeze
Summary: Tony writes letters to his son that he'll never send.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: heirloom [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1019250
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	to press rewind for the thousandth time

**Author's Note:**

> Remember me? 
> 
> This fic exploded out of me during NaNoWriMo. 
> 
> I hope y'all can enjoy! 
> 
> These letters are direct responses to the letters sent in the previous part, so be sure to read those.

**September 28, 2001**

Hi Richard and Mary,

I returned to school just two weeks after Peter was born, a mistake, probably, given that I was still healing emotionally and physically or whatever, but Stark men are always the type to go against doctor’s orders, am I right?

~~Here’s to hoping Peter doesn’t inherit that.~~

Your letter broke me open. It wasn’t that I forgot about him, as though I could forget, there’s a gaping hole in my ~~heart~~ vagina. I just, I threw myself into my work and tried to pretend that I wasn’t grieving.

I, the pictures broke my heart. I miss him so much. He looks so different, and I, my resolve is crumbling. I want to hold him again so badly it hurts, but I know I made the best choice for him.

Still, I didn’t think it was going to be this painful. I didn’t think I would feel this raw.

I’m never going to send this, by the way, I’ll send some cryptic response that doesn’t ask for too many details and I’ll hope you understand that I love him. 

-X-

**March 1, 2002**

Peter,

I guess it’s easier to write directly to you, and not to your parents, who are amazing people, by the way.

You are six months old. At this time last year, I had just found out you existed, and now you’re smiling and probably sitting up or something.

It seems you’ve got the Stark charm, what, with your babbling and smiling. I think, at this point, I’m supposed to say something like, ‘charm means nothing if you aren’t kind’ or something along those lines, but you’re six months old and also I’m not your dad and that’s something your dad should say.

And now I’m crying, and Dum-E ~~(that's my robot, maybe you'll get to meet him one day)~~ is not so gently dabbing at my face with a tissue, so I’m gonna stop writing before he “accidentally” pokes my eye out.

-X-

**August 28, 2002**

Peter,

My therapist says these letters are actually a healthy way of processing. Who would’ve guessed?

Anyway, your birthday was today. Your mom sent the email this afternoon. It looks like you had fun at the germs cesspool that is Chuck E. Cheese’s. Also, I had no idea what a cake smash was but honestly it looked like a blast.

I got my PhD, not that it matters. ~~Graduated in August because if I’m honest, I couldn’t spend another moment in the lab that was so saturated with memories of you. So,~~ I figured out what I needed to do and finished the program in record time. I’m officially Dr. Stark, I guess.

I really considered changing my mind about meeting you, I really really really did. And then, do you know Alex Osborn? I mean, probably, he’s Osborn’s oldest son. He’s like eight or something. He got kidnapped and held for ransom and they got him back in just 12 hours, but he could’ve died, and I can never take that risk with you. And why am I telling you this? You’re one. I don’t know.

I- Rhodey’s coming. ~~He would’ve been your godfather, minus the fact that~~ he didn’t know about you. He got stationed in Washington DC before you were born. Anyway, I should go.

~~I, I love you~~. Stay cute, okay?

-X- 

**September 2nd, 2003**

Peter,

Little known secret, but I was also a bumblebee for Halloween when I was one. Granted, it was a hideous and truly awful skirt with a tutu or whatever, but samesies, of course, that photo has been scrubbed from existence, but I am half tempted to show your parents.

And the genius thing? I, I’m glad your parents aren’t putting you on the accelerated track. It’s a nightmare for social and emotional development, much easier to give grade level work but to keep you where you could socialize and mature.

Your parents know what they’re doing kiddo, they really do. I wouldn’t have picked them otherwise.

~~I love you, kid. I really do.~~

Tony

PS: Bob the Builder? At least it’s not Dora. 

-X- 

**September 16, 2004**

Peter,

I imagine, if you are anything like I was as a child, your parents will cave within the year. ~~(I don’t know why I’m writing to you like I’m the cool uncle, you already have one of those, and you have his name as your middle name.)~~

Here’s my prediction: you’re gonna start getting bored at school. It happens, and you’ll probably need more intellectual stimulation that pre kindergarten can provide. You’ll probably start acting out and frustrating your teachers and they will beg your parents to send you to school. I think the key is not putting you too far ahead.

I worried I wasn’t going to get an update. I read online about stuff like that happening to birth parents, prepared myself for it, but there was no preparing myself for the crushing feeling that came with not getting an update.

It took everything in me not to betray your parents trust and look you up. I didn’t, by the way, but I wanted to.

And then your dad sent the update and I, I could breathe again. I’m glad to know you’re okay and doing well.

~~Love you,~~

Tony

-X- 

**September 9, 2005**

Peter,

If I were a betting man, ~~actually I am, but if I had placed a bet~~. I would’ve won.

I’m glad you’re happy and that your school years have started off joyful, and I am so thankful your parents care about that. My dad couldn’t care less about my school achievements, and he certainly wouldn’t have known whether I was happy or sad at school.

Your mom says you look like me. I see a lot of the Stark men in you, lots of it. I also see bits of Brady. I’ve considered sending him photos, but he’s a bigwig composer now and I wonder if he even remembers me.

Your mom is so sweet, but that fact is that I will likely be to drunk busy at any cross-corporate events. 

You have incredible parents, and each letter affirms that.

~~Love you kid,~~

Tony

-X-

**September 3, 2006**

Peter,

I cried when I read your mom’s letter, but I’m going to blame it on missing my t-shot.

I have never been more proud of anyone in my life, not because of the robotics. I mean, that’s cool, no doubt, but because you stood up to a bully.

It’s a reminder your parents are raising you so well. I am so proud of you for standing up for someone. I really hope you keep that aspect of your personality. You definitely get it from your parents.

I’m glad you have friends too. My actual true friends in elementary school amounted to a whopping Zero. It’s good to have friends. 

Stay true. ~~I love you kiddo.~~

Tony

-X- 

**September 1, 2007**

Peter,

I am so so sorry.

I love you and my heart hurts for you, 

Tony.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment. 
> 
> I'm hoping to have a Homecoming AU up super soon! (probably after finals)


End file.
